


Stray Cats

by Sys



Category: Crusade
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 23:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18303896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sys/pseuds/Sys
Summary: When Dureena touches an alien artifact... things get a little troublesome.





	Stray Cats

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Muccamukk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muccamukk/gifts).



> I really hope this works for you, Mucca. I didn't have much time left after finishing my original assignment and needing to actually watch Crusade so I could write something for you. Anyway... hope this is anywhere near something you might want. <3

Careful. You need to be careful while tunneling. While picking locks, or when needed, people’s pockets. And you need to be very careful indeed when you travel to an abandoned or seemingly empty planet that was hit by one terrible tragedy or another. While touching objects, valuables, artifacts. She is...

Alone. One small runes covered stone, cursed... or trapped. It doesn’t matter which. There is no indication if it is even worth it. If taking it back to Eilerson, to the crew, would have helped with the translation of the data crystals they found. But they are both invisible now.

~

Unease. It is so clear that he senses it without trying. That he can almost grasp it. Is led to it. By it. They have been trying to find Dureena for hours. And she _is_ there. Only that the sensors fail to pick her up. Cannot see her, but _can_...

Listen. Jumbled thoughts, surrounding a rune covered stone. You do not listen without permission. But it is an emergency. He nudges, gently, unwilling to further disturb her. They will find a way. If she calms down. If they can find help. Maybe with the data crystals when Eilerson translated them.

~

Privacy. It is something she values immensely. But after days of having only John Matheson talking to her inside her head, she welcomes each touch to her thoughts. It is curious that she can eat food provided. That she was able to ride the shuttle with them back to the

Excalibur. So many people, but they see through her. Shudder if she touches them. There was nothing of use to their mission on that cursed old world. Perhaps some alien technology for Eilerson’s company to rob. But nothing worth the trouble. Maybe Galen will know... they could agree on that.

~

Weeks. For weeks they have been trying to find a way. Have been waiting for Galen to mysteriously reappear. He can sense the mild unease of the early days turning, slowly to something closer to despair. But another emotion threatens to overwhelm, both her and also him by close association...

Anger. Burning anger at herself, first and foremost. For being careless, for making the mistake to pick up something she failed to understand. But at the mission, too. At travelling all these worlds that hold no answer, only more questions. And at the Drakh, of course. For being the cause. 

~

Revenge. The thought sings in her blood. John, she cannot call him anything else when he has been her sole companion for months, recoils from the thoughts. Recoils when he sees her kill Drakh in her mind, over and over. Unseen. Undetected by scanners. Safe from them when they cannot...

See. Cannot stop her. Feel her. Know where she is. They will die. As her people died. Die for her people and for what they plan to do to the humans. There is nothing that could stop her. Nothing... no one. If she cannot be seen or heard or detected...

~

Gently. There is no other way. He strokes her mind, tries to remind her. Destroying all Drakh would be revenge, yes. But at what cost? Striking from the shadows would seem almost poetic justice, dealing with the Drakh. But killing hundreds of people? Thousands? Millions? Even people guilty of genocide? 

Please. He says the word over and over. It is not you. It would destroy you. Living with the darkness of your deeds hurts, even after you were forgiven. Even if, at the time, it seemed the only way to find freedom. But the deaths on your conscience weigh heavily.

~

Asset. That is all she is now. An asset. She can scout ahead unseen. Lead John to places that might be of interest. It is good to be of use. To still belong, at least to some extent. But are you still a person because you can be of use? 

Emotions. That might be the key. Others might not see her laugh or cry or growl or shine. But if John can sense her? If she can still think and feel and John knows that she can, is that not enough for her to still be real? What _is_ real?

~

 _You._ He promises, when he hears the questions in his mind. _You are real to me._ He knows that helping Dureena is secondary to finding a cure. It must be, the goods of the many... but every planet they search for a cure for the plague might help find a 

Key. There will be something to free her from her troubles. Preferably before her revenge fantasies take over completely. He dares not worry that she might never be the same after months and months of near solitude. Of being a ghost to everyone but him for almost two years now. 

~

Potential. There is a potential cure. Not to her problem, of course. But there is hope for mankind. Everyone is excited. John certainly is, though he hides it behind polite smiles, and a few laughs, here and there, when he is alone with the Captain. Well... almost alone, never truly.

Hope. The one thing left in Pandora’s box after all evil fled. And she should feel something. Should cheer for her crewmates. For the people who were her friends. For the one person who is, still. The initial tests are promising. So they head back to earth. _Finally_ , she senses.

~

Dureena. He coaxes her out. Tries to remind her that she still has him, at least, even as they get reassigned, medals pinned to their chests, her own achievements honored as if she were dead. But she cannot be dead. Not if she can eat and drink and use bathrooms. 

Alive. You are alive. He tells her, or maybe she tells him that she is? They follow Gideon, of course, as the President reassigns him personally. Their mission to defend Narn from recent attacks by the Drakh seems oddly small, compared to finding a cure for humanity. And a test...

~

Die. They will die, should they offer the slightest reason. Revenge sings in her blood. So many will die, never knowing what hit them. They made a serious mistake, attacking the Narn homeworld, not one of the many other potential targets the Rangers heard whispers about. A death warrant, signed.

Many. How many need to die until it is enough? None of those who died trying to attack Narns helped at all. The song is softer in her heart and blood now. But the dead are still dead. And the song for revenge is replaced by a cold, consuming emptiness.

~

Me. He promises. You will have me. They are careful not to mention her in reports these days. Earthforce might... he hates to think badly of the people he wanted to join since as long as he can remember. But after everything they witnessed... Earthforce is not quite what he 

Thought. And if they captured her, locked her up. Started experiments, hoping to recreate what happened... hoping to turn more people into what she became... whatever she is, these days. He buries that thought deeply. It would hurt her that he wonders. But she feels different than she did, once.

~

May. Yes you may. It is not a romantic kiss. But it is a reminder. It is the Captain’s suggestion, strangely, that sends them on the new quest. Exploring positive emotions, together. Playing games. Dancing. Doing little things to remember, whenever the missions do not demand their attention. And yet...

Fear. The fear of being a burden to him. For years now he has devoted most of his time to being with her. To keeping her company. To add more time to that yet... but spending time with the others is dull when they cannot hope to sense her thoughts.

~

Shock. It comes as a shock when he can see her. When others, too, can see her again. What sounded like another crazy mission Galen suggested, actually helped. And it feels strange, so very strange to close his thoughts to her. To stop listening to hers. As if something is

Missing. A part of him is missing when he withdraws from her as he must. Only time can unravel the codependence. They need to feel whole on their own once more, not two halves of the same piece. But it is hard to let go. To see her leave him.

~

Message. After months away from John, training with Galen to finally follow her dreams, she feels strong enough to send a message. To let him know that she still misses being around him too much to join him. But that, should he ever be in trouble, she will save her

Cat. That is what Galen calls them. Stray cats, to be protected, loved and nurtured. He has his. And she has hers. It is but fair if she repays John’s unwavering loyalty with vows of her own. Should he ever need a thief or a techno mage to protect him...


End file.
